


Sea of Trees

by Summon_the_Stars



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/M, Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Mental Anguish, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-08-28 22:05:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16731483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Summon_the_Stars/pseuds/Summon_the_Stars
Summary: You loved him deeply but continuously being tortured and harassed by his mother finally drove you to a part that you thought you could never return from...





	Sea of Trees

This was it.

The biggest turning point in your life, you thought, as you locked the door to Ushijima's apartment and slipped the key through the mail slot.

It had to be done, there was no other option for you now.

Adjusting the strap of the small backpack you had with you, you turned to look out over the city you had finally been able to start calling it home. Eyes closed, you took a deep breath and listened, to memorize, the city you had grown to love for the very last time.

Turning in your heel, you made your way down, stopping to greet and exchange small talk with the people at the front desk of the apartment complex you lived in with Ushijima and shared some of the cookies you had baked that morning due to a sudden craving.

A few minutes later you bid them farewell and headed out the door.

Your next stop was at Hana's, the local stray cat that had been adopted and cared for by the community after she had saved a child from an overly aggressive dog and had chased it off with sharp claws to its face. She came out to meet you, purring and rubbing her head on your legs as a few pairs of eyes peeked out of her “cat house”, or the makeshift dog house the complex had put there for her to live in as she didn't want to be inside and wanted to go as she pleased.

You cleaned her bowls, putting fresh water and food out for her and her kittens as said kittens came over to you to investigate while mom laid out in the sun nearby. You set down toys for them to play with and watched as they pounced and played with them and each other.

You gave Hana special attention, praising her and petting her as she only allowed with people from the apartment complex.

She watched you as you left, your shoulders slumped a little more than normal.

You took a detour on your way to the train station, walking through the park where you and Ushijima had had your first date and stopping on the bridge where he had kissed you for the first time.

Normally to most people Ushijima was a hard read, his stern and stoic demeanor awkward at best but off putting at worst to some.

Frankly you were used to it, knowing him to put more meaning and emphasis into his actions rather than his words. Something that was ingrained into him due to his mother's family.

Which you were fine with, more than fine actually. It meant that you got to see a side that was rarely ever understood with him albeit for a select few.

You remember that evening clearly, that moment like it had just happened although that was years ago.

He had been fidgety the entire evening and much more careful about what he was doing than normal. And he, ever the old fashioned gentleman, had waited till your third date to, surprisingly cutely, ask you if it was okay to kiss you.

You had burst out in laughter at the look on his face and the soft blush that was quickly growing in intensity and size on his cheeks, especially at your sudden outburst.

Although you quickly stopped, the sight of the hurt in his eyes and his quick close off from the closeness you two had been in quickly clueing you in to the actuality of “yes, he really does mean to ask your permission first” .

His kiss had been so soft and cautious, like he was afraid that he would break you just by doing that alone.

It was glorious, and you had cried with how sweet and gentle it was. Which caused him to freak out and pull away before you had laughed and pulled him back for another kiss to show him that you were okay.

The smile he had on his face afterwards was something that had set your heart aflame with love.

And love you both quickly fell into.

You were inseparable, basically joined at the hip to the amusement of all your friends, especially his former teammates and his current ones.

But they didn’t mind and frankly they had voiced their approval numerous times as soon as they met you and had saw the changes in his demeanor when it came to you.

You greeted the ticket seller at the train station, offering them a big smile when you told them that you were taking a much needed day trip for yourself to view nature.

It reminded of you the first time that Ushijima took you home to meet his family for the first time after a few months of dating.

His once stern and strict grandmother had welcomed you with open arms, her increasingly old age having finally softened her up to see the more meaningful things in life like her grandson’s happiness. She had commented on your ability to allow Ushijima to open up more and to give him the driving force he had once lost for a time, but this time it was for the better instead of being driven by pain.

His mother on the other hand had greeted you cooly, the new head of the Ushijima family had left you feeling a little more anxious and overwhelmed by her presence and attitude towards you.

She never said much to you, rather choosing to mainly talk to her son or to her mother and would blatantly ignore you unless it was obvious that you had tried to ask her anything.

Ushijima had unfortunately prepared you for that, so you were not that surprised, but it still made you feel like an outsider.

His grandmother finally had to put a stop to it when his mother finally took it too far and had made comments about the matchmaking prospects for him to continue the Ushijima name and legacy.

The previous head actually slapped her, forcing her to apologize to you, and had ordered her to leave.

Ushijima had put himself between you and her as she was forced to leave, but even still you could feel the venomous looks that had been aimed in your direction.

You never saw her again after that, having become close to Ushijima’s grandmother as the years went on, and she made sure to never have his mother in the same vicinity as you ever again.

You set down your bag as you took your seat on the train, luckily the seat beside yours was empty so you could place it there. As you looked out the window to the fast moving scenery outside, you slowly drifted off into a daze and into a world of memories.

You had been with Ushijima almost since the beginning of university, the accident that caused you two to meet still freshly humorous to you.

You had actually been on your way to class when a stray volleyball had flew out of nowhere and struck the cup of coffee that you had been carefully carrying along with your books and papers, causing the almost burning cheap cup of coffee to spill over you and completely ruin your paper that you were supposed to hand in that morning.

He came running out, at the time you thought him to be a giant, a solid, tall wall of muscle. A SCARY tall, solid wall of muscle. You hadn't slept much the night before, needing to study for exams and getting that paper, which was now ruined, done for your most important class that had the most strict professor, and so you did the only thing you could think of at the time.

You had sunk down to your knees and bawled like an infant.

You obviously hadn't noticed but Ushijima was dumb stuck, pure shock radiating off of his face. You also didn’t notice when he pulled off his (very large) university jacket off of him and draped it over you where it hid your now see-through shirt and your tears before he went chasing after your papers as they began to flutter away.

He insisted on coming with you to class to explain and apologize to your professor for what had happened as if it was his fault. Your professor was highly irritated that you didn’t have your paper done (although you did, it just was ruined thanks to your coffee) but as soon as he saw just who it was who came to apologize, the university’s star student and athlete (and someone who’s family commanded respect) he quickly changed his tune and allowed you an extension on your paper.

It didn’t hurt that the impressive aura that radiated from Ushijima also helped to cow your ridiculous professor.

He even bought you another coffee (a super expensive and actually tasty one at that) and insisted on taking care of your clothes.

One thing led to another, that bought coffee leading to coffee study dates and then leading to regular coffee dates which lead to the two of you actually dating not before long.

Gazing out of the window of the train, you went down memory lane, only pausing to answer the attendant’s questions about the lunch that they were selling that day.

He had tried to make you dinner one night for a date a few months after you had started dating to celebrate for your birthday. Tried being the operative word here.

You had come home after a long and hard day at work to a complete and total mess in the kitchen with a sheepish and still upset boyfriend sitting at the kitchen table with a slightly lopsided cake waiting before him, waiting for you.

The two of you ended up cleaning the mess together (although he insisted on only himself doing it) and together you whipped up a simple but delicious dinner, playing as you went along.

You got off the train station closest to your destination, your footsteps more and more soft and unsure, but you continued on with the same goal in mind.

Ushijima was strong and steady, determined and bullheaded in his own way, but he was a good man who was dependable and reliable to those around him, especially the ones that he cared the most for.

He was steady and firm, your rock whenever things got rough in life and you adored him for that among other things.  
You greeted the park rangers at the beginning of one of the trails, accepting a map from them along with well wishes and advice of how to navigate the forest safely and the best times to be back before the sky got too dark and the area too dangerous. You thanked them, smiling as you carefully tucked the map into your backpack and headed out the door and to one of the trails entering the forest.

You remember that day, that day where Ushijima took you to one of his favorite spots, a semi secluded and quiet area in your favorite park, a place hidden by trees and flowers that made it seem like it was a world all its own.

That’s where he had taken you that day.

Had brought along a picnic of food he had learned to make just for you.

Had wined and dined you the entire time.

Had gotten extremely serious but extremely nervous and shy for what it seemed for the first time in his life.

Had coaxed you to stand up for him.

Had gotten down on one knee, just as you once told him you had always dreamed.

Had asked to be yours, forever and always come what may.

Had begged to be allowed to love you to his dying breath.

Had opened up his heart, raw and emotional and moving and perfect and…

You had said yes, yes, YES! a million times yes and you had jumped on him and had kissed him and the two of you had ended up making love that night under the stars and the moonlight.

You stood at the entrance to the forest, slowly taking in the sight of the landscape and the stillness that permeated throughout it.

His mother had been FURIOUS. She wasn’t even supposed to be there the day that you and Ushijima had gone to tell his grandmother, and ultimately the entire family for the most part, your good news and to ask for her blessing (although you already had it if the grin on her face had anything to say about it).

His mother had been full of spitting venom that day and had screamed at you, accusing you of blackmail and forcing him to marry you. She had been overly aggressive, getting up in your face about your family, enough to the point that Ushijima and his grandmother had to call someone in to restrain her and remove her. However when she saw that you hid behind his back, unconsciously defensively covering your front, she broke free and attacked you. She had screamed, grabbing you by your hair and YANKED, throwing you to the ground hard enough when you hit the floor you ended up hitting your head and was knocked unconscious. You wavered in and out of consciousness, hearing her screams of how you, you the gold digging whore, were ruining his life for good if he married you instead of another.

You shivered at the coolness you felt from the weather, the temperature being much lower than what you had been told it would have been, as you sat down at a bench. Doubt began to clear from your mind as you thought back, especially when it came to his mother.

Ushijima had swiftly hauled his mother up and away from you, shouting for someone to restrain her and to call the police. His grandmother had rushed to your side, drawing you up into her arms to check on you and to protect you from the current madwoman in the room.

She had been arrested, but was released soon after being strictly warned from having direct contact with you in any way. 

For a time, peace came back to your lives and everything returned to normal.

Until the barrage of anonymous letters and calls and emails and messages left at your door, all of them with the same basic message,

“Leave him or Regret It”

You didn’t tell Ushijima, knowing that if you did it would put even more strain on whatever sort of connection he had with his family, they slowly becoming divided over what your true intentions were for him. Most of the family sided with you two and Ushijima’s grandmother, who resumed her role as head of the household after the attack having deemed that her daughter was unworthy of the role and the responsibilities that came with.

You could see just how much it hurt him. After so many years of strained connections, you would have done anything to keep his current condition from changing.

So this week, while he was away at a training camp for the upcoming season, you finally made up your mind.

Slipping your backpack off your shoulder, you left it on the bench.

Squaring your shoulders and taking a deep breath…

You took your first step into Aokigahara.

A key turned in the lock to the apartment he lived in with you. 

Normally you were there to greet him at the door with a big smile on your face, but the entire apartment was quiet.

Too quiet.

He dropped his bag, not even bothering to take off his shoes as he began to search through the rooms, growing more and more frantic every time he never found you.

Never found any signs that you had lived there at all.

Everything that ever had anything to do with you was gone.

Except for a crisp white envelope laying on the table with his name on it. 

Written by your own hand.


End file.
